Becoming a carer for someone can increase the tension in your relationship with them.
This might partly be because you are more frustrated, annoyed or angry with them. You might be angry that they need care, or blame them for the situation. You might be resentful that you have to give up so much of your own life and identity for them. You might be annoyed that they don’t seem more grateful for the sacrifices you are making. You might feel grief for the plans you had made together that may now have to change. You might be frustrated that they aren’t doing more for themselves and feel like they are being lazy or difficult for not doing their fair share. You might feel that this just isn’t what you signed up for.
There are also lots of new things that you might now worry about including your friend or relative’s condition, the financial implications of them needing care, and what the future holds. On top of this, you might feel exhausted from not sleeping properly and achy and sore from the physical demands of your caring role, only making you feel even grumpier.
It isn’t just how you feel that has changed either. The person you are caring for has likely experienced big changes in how they feel too. They may well feel embarrassed or ashamed that you have to care for them. They may be upset at losing their independence. They might feel guilty that you are having to give up so much of your time to look after them. They might interpret you caring for them as being patronising, overprotective or controlling.
All of this can lead to an increase in bickering, shouting or arguing with the person you care for.