We spoke to Dennis about life after his wife Vivian was diagnosed with dementia and he became her carer.
It all started seven years ago on a weekly trip to Sainsburys when Vivian couldn’t remember her PIN number. This isn’t an unusual event of itself but it happened several times so Dennis thought, considering their ages, he would ask their doctor about it. The doctor sent Vivian for some tests which resulted in a diagnosis of dementia. Within a year, Vivian short and long-term memory had declined significantly.
Dennis has been Vivian’s full-time carer for the past six years. This has been incredibly challenging as Dennis took on all household duties, including cooking which he had never done. Vivian became dependent on Dennis and would get distressed if he leaves her sight. A self-described extrovert, Dennis would often be out at weekends either volunteering at a Ferret Rescue Centre or helping with Birds of Prey shows. This all stopped.
Dennis says: “It feels like life stopped with Vivian’s diagnosis. Every day is the same and I often feel depressed. We always used to have something to aim for and we don’t anymore.”
Lockdown shrunk Dennis’ world even further and his most regular contact was with an Age UK befriender who called once a week. This was when he was introduced to Carers First. Dennis joined the weekly Dementia Carers Virtual Coffee Break group which currently meets on Zoom. Dennis says:
“The group has been a lifeline for me. We have a good laugh, even if I am the only man in the group. It helps to chat to people in a similar situation to me and hear different ideas on caring for someone with dementia.”
Life is not easy for Dennis but he remains committed to caring for Vivian, staying true to the vows he made 63 years ago.
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