Eleanor cares for her grandad, who has heart and kidney failure, anemia, type 2 diabetes and macular degeneration (MD). Before joining Carers First as a Carer Support Adviser, she did not identify with being a carer herself. It wasn’t until she spoke with colleagues and other carers that she offered support to, that she was able to put a name to the role she had been playing in her grandad’s life. She is extremely grateful to have that recognition and strives for others to feel as understood and supported as she does.
"Recognising yourself as a carer is unique to each individual and something that often takes time, as I found out fairly recently.
I’m a carer for my Grandad who is 94, who is fiercely independent and still living in his own home. My parents also play a huge role in grandad’s care, doing most of the things I can’t always be around to help with when working. Living a five-minute drive away means we can be there quickly if needed…but also means we can be there a lot. Over the last couple of years there have been a few changes to his physical health which have necessitated some additional support. Initially, this mainly entailed daily household tasks such as taking grandad to the shops and appointments or helping with the gardening.
However, the last few months, particularly following two hospital admissions within the span of just a couple of weeks, have seen a rapid increase in the care demands, both on us family carers and on the wonderful care agency implemented earlier this year. Whilst my grandad’s body figures out what it is doing, we as his carers are figuring out a ‘new normal’ of more personal care, laundry, and increasingly frequent visits. As well as being more hands-on, the emotional toll has definitely been exacerbated by exhaustion, frustrations and worry. Amidst all this, I have been evaluating my position to grandad as granddaughter/carer.
Whilst many of us as carers do it simply out of love, looking back to a couple of years ago I just believed I was being a helpful granddaughter. Maybe that was mid-twenties naivety, but now 29 and with the recent events around grandad’s health, my mindset, fuelled by the knowledge obtained from work, has changed to view the situation differently. It has only been during these more demanding times that my parents and I have acknowledged ourselves as carers, though it has taken until the point of near burnout to realise just how much we are doing. Despite none of us being actively engaged in any support for this, we’re very lucky that through Carers First we know exactly what is on offer; I’m aware that many people do not have this insight.
Subsequently, I now feel more confident in acknowledging myself as a carer. In fact, I’ve found that many of those supported through my work like to know you have relatable understanding. I now even introduce myself as a carer in appropriate situations!
Having taken time to realise my caring status and the pressures it places on you, I would encourage anyone who is supporting someone else in any way, shape or form to pause and understand that they’re doing over and above what most people have to do. And to realise what a wonderful job they are doing!"
This Carers Rights Day, more than ever, it’s important to recognise yourself as a carer. Eleanor’s workplace helped her to identify her role, and subsequently she benefitted from life-changing support and now feels part of a community to which she contributes in helping other carers receive that same support.
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