Jackie spoke to us about life caring for her Mum and the impact this has had on her mental health.
"My life has been defined by caring. My dad walked out on my mum when I was 21. My mum had never learnt to read or write so I needed to take on my dad’s role, supporting my mum through the divorce and re-mortgage.
My mum has always had a dependency on me. This only increased as she got older and developed health problems. She would call multiple times a day. My caring role increased to the point where I would do all her washing, cleaning and bills. I have always struggled with my mental health and found it hard to work alongside my caring role which left me with little money. I had no life and never had a holiday. This led to a mental breakdown. I wasn’t coping and felt like walking away and not coming back.
Seven years ago, my GP referred me to the mental health team who then put me in touch with Carers First. They supported me to access benefits including Personal Independence Payments and Attendance Allowance. This has really helped as caring is expensive. My mum is now incontinent, and I regularly need to replace her bedding. They also helped me get an assessment of mum’s home and have adaptations such as hand and bath rails that the Council paid for. I would have never known I was entitled to this.
The emotional support from Carers First has meant the most to me. The staff are really understanding and supportive. They cared about me and made me feel valued. I also became part of a Carers First support group where I felt I could be honest and not have to explain myself. It can be hard to talk to friends who don’t understand what it’s like to be a carer.
Having support from Carers First was so important as three years ago, I had a heart attack as well as a fall where I fractured my sternum. Carers First helped me arrange support for my mum while I recuperated. I don’t know where I would be now if it wasn’t for Carers First.
I am passionate about making sure all carers know about the support available. I helped set up a Carers First support group where I live as it’s in quite a geographically isolated area. The pandemic hasn’t stopped us meeting and we switched to online. Running the group has been great for my self-esteem and given me a sense of purpose outside my caring role.
Like many, the past year has been tough on my mental health however Carers First has continued to be there for me to keep me going."
Online Help and Advice
Visit our online support section where we have provided advice and guidance on a range of relevant topics to help you in your caring role.