Lynn, 70, lives in Essex with her husband Rob who suffers from blindness and seizures caused by an inoperable brain tumour, diagnosed fifty years ago, in late 1973.
Since then, Lynn has been Rob’s carer, supporting him with his daily living needs, and providing constant supervision. However, despite engaging with many professionals involved in Rob’s care throughout their caring journey, it took twenty-six years for Lynn to recognise she is a carer. This came after a conversation in the late 1990s with The Royal National Institute for the Blind (RNIB) when she sought advice on what was available to support them.
“An important name was given to the role I have, which made me feel recognised, and importantly for me, empowered to ask for support.”
Yet it still wasn’t until 2019 until Lynn accessed support from Carers First when she met a member of the Carers First team in her local GP surgery.
Lynn considers herself to be quite articulate and knows she knows her husband Rob best, yet even though she feels that professionals do tend to listen; Lynn is disappointed that she was unrecognised and went without support for so long and believes that more should be done to help everyone to identify carers like her, at the earliest opportunity.
“I feel the government are disengaged with the ordinary man in the street and more needs to be done to improve attitudes towards disabled people and carers, filtering down to local services. This would help more carers, friends, family members and professionals to recognize people who are caring and that they are entitled to support.”
Lynn tells us that she has incredibly good friends and an extremely supportive family, but that she finds it difficult to ask for help. And knowing Carers First is there helps her to know she is supported and that she can talk to someone who understands when things become overwhelming.
“Recently, after a particularly difficult day, my mood was low, and I needed someone to talk to about my thoughts and feelings. I emailed Carers First expressing how I felt.
“I was feeling really low. It's not even physical tiredness, it's more a mental weariness. A sort of, how much longer can I carry on?
I have so much to be grateful for. I have a loving, supportive family, wonderful friends, a church family, whose members care for us, and I have a strong Christian faith. So why do I feel so utterly drained and wrung out? Somehow, I don't know how to ask for the help I need.
After receiving my email, Carers First then phoned me to chat things through, offering sensible and practical solutions to help me and reminding me that they were there to help.”
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