Mona has been caring for as long as she can remember. Like many carers, she cares for multiple people and often has to juggle her responsibilities to fit it all in. Her determination to support those in her life is unwavering, and she shares how finding support for herself has helped her in more ways than one.
Mona cares for her mum and her brother, who was born deaf and mute. She cared for her dad too, who was diagnosed with Vascular Parkinson’s, and passed away two months ago due to the progression of his condition. Mona’s mum has Lymphoma and has also been diagnosed with dementia. Although she and her family are originally from Goa in India, they moved to the UK, where Mona continued to care for them. She was in full-time employment, but had to go part-time as her parents’ medical condition progressed. Mona decided to take on the caring role full-time. Her response to her commitment is, “My parents have always stood by me, and supported me. I couldn’t just put them in a home.”
Finding Carers First helped Mona to realise that there is support for carers, and she was guided to the correct services to help her with valuable advice, “Someone mentioned Carers First, so I came to the centre. I got advice about job opportunities.”
Mona emphasises just how important it is to take time for yourself, as she has found ways to regain her peace when the weight of caring becomes too heavy,
“Sometimes I share my feelings and thoughts with my friends who are also carers, and supporting each other we get through it. I find calmness in praying, taking long walks. My faith in God assures me that I am not alone; God will make a way and get me through.”
Often times, it is pausing to take in the little things in life that enables you to feel in control and focus on yourself and your own wellbeing.
While caring responsibilities can be overwhelming at times, Mona takes the positives of her caring role to give her strength and motivation to continue being there for them. She expresses how caring has taught her to be more compassionate, and to pour more into society. She also feels that, by caring for her family and sharing her experiences so openly, she is teaching her children that “life is not always smooth: there are challenge, but staying grounded and focused through the trials will get you through, you will be okay.”
When Mona initially began caring full-time for three members of her family, she understandably felt a sense of overwhelm and stress at the thought of managing by herself. Her GP recommended Talking Therapies, “Talking therapies have helped me a lot. To live in the moment, when I am overwhelmed, all I have to do is get through that single moment, that single day, not to overthink the future.”
Over time, she has understood how essential it is to remain calm and remember that you are capable of more than you may think, “I am in a better place now, it is hard, but I don’t let myself get overwhelmed. I remind myself that I have been okay previously, and I will be okay.” It was also reaching out for support from charities, like Carers First and Age UK, that reassured Mona and helped her to benefit from the community of carers around her that truly understood.
She is very grateful for all the help she has received on her caring journey, through her local GP and the NHS – hospital staff, paramedics, and more: “I would not be able to give the best care to my parents without the support from the NHS.”
Mona’s story acts as a positive reminder that support can and does change lives. When faced with difficult circumstances, just simply talking to someone who understands can make all the difference to how you feel. For Mona and so many others, Carers First is that safe space where you can receive information, guidance and support for your caring role.
Click here to find out about the support we offer at Carers First.
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