Susan, is a full-time carer for her mum Valerie who has limited mobility after having a stoma bag fitted and needing to spend six weeks in hospital.
During the time that Susan was getting used to her new role as a carer for her mum, her dad’s health began to deteriorate due to him feeling lost and helpless after her stay in hospital. Susan became withdrawn, and struggled with mood fluctuations, as caring for both of her parents took its toll on her mental health. She began experiencing sleep issues, which resulted in her having very little energy or motivation to do anything.
The frustration and stress she was feeling in her caring role led to Susan regularly using the internet for online shopping and spending more than she could afford, causing her to get into debt. This unfortunately put the family in a difficult financial position where they were unable to pay the bills and had little to no support.
Sadly, Susan’s dad died in 2024, leaving a huge hole in the family. Susan continued to care for her mum, taking care of household chores and ensuring she was taking her medication. However, the pressures of her full-time caring role became overwhelming for Susan, and it was at this time that she reached out to a care agency to provide support for Valerie.
One of the biggest challenges Susan has faced since becoming a carer has been maintaining a positive and caring relationship with her mum as they are with each other every day. Valerie is housebound and Susan feels that she has become agoraphobic due to being indoors most of the time.
Unfortunately, this has led to Susan feeling like she has lost her independence and sense of self, with her identity reduced to being a carer, something many can relate to.
Susan first learned about Carers First through online advertisements, and self-referred via our Helpline. Since then, we have helped Susan to apply for a grant with Friends of the Elderly, delivered a food parcel with Medway Foodbank, and made a wellbeing payment for a washing machine, to support Susan in her caring role. She has expressed how the support from Carers First has made such a big difference and it has meant that they have “not gone hungry and are able to wear clean clothes… [and] improved their physical and mental health.”
Susan’s story reflects that of many carers across the UK, who can relate to feeling a loss of independence and identity within their caring role. Reaching out is the first step to receiving the support you need as a carer, and Susan’s story shows how doing so can make a big difference to your physical and mental health as well as your caring relationship.
“Thank you so much, you have improved my mental wellbeing. Chelsea [from Carers First] has also made a difference to my confidence by improving it as she has shown there are kind people out there willing to listen and not judge us” Susan says.
Her advice to other carers would be to,“Keep going even when it’s tough and be persistent in getting the support you need.”
Click here to learn more about the support we offer to carers across the UK.
Online Help and Advice
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