The role of a carer is to help a family member or friend to meet their needs and maintain the best quality of life they can. However, this type of support can be offered from a distance. This means that you can be a carer even if you do not live with or near to the person that you support.
Below we explore what caring from a distance looks like, the challenges carers face when supporting someone from a distance, and things carers use to help.
Unlike physical caring roles where a carer may offer personal care, help someone to mobilise or support with household tasks, caring from a distance looks a little bit different. It usually involves empowering the individual to look after themselves and coordinating any support they receive. Caring from a distance might also include:
- Providing emotional support over the phone
- Managing their money including bills, benefits, spending
- Organising deliveries such as food, prescriptions and other essentials
- Speaking to professionals and organisations on their behalf
- Managing their diary by coordinating carers, support workers and other services
- Maintaining records or important details relevant to their care, treatment or support plan
- Organise when family members, friends or people in their support network check in on them (in person or over the phone)
- Being available to go to them in the case of an urgent situation
Many carers do not recognise the support they provide as part of a caring role. Explaining what it means to care from a distance can help individuals to identify their caring role and recognise themselves as carers, without discussing into the circumstances of their family member or friend (such as if they have a dependency).
Many carers can feel they are ‘on standby’ at times, but for people caring from a distance, this is a particularly big part of their caring role. Whether it is waiting for the phone to ring or undertaking tasks to help prepare for a situation arises, it is a part of the caring role that many do not see.
- Regularly checking in with someone by phone to quickly identifying changes in their behaviour
- Being available to problem solve, provide reassurance or help them to make positive choices.
- Speaking with other people in their support network to discuss concerns and coordinate when to implement more support.
This type of caring role can leave carers feeling like they are switched on and actively involved in a caring role all hours of the day and night. This can be especially difficult when balancing caring with other commitments such as if a doctor may calls during your work hours or you are given information about the person you care for which you need to respond to quickly. Having time away from the caring role, and doing things which help them to recharge can help carers to avoid burning out physically and emotionally or even develop their own health needs long term.
Some carers who care from a distance appreciate having some space between themselves and the person they care for as it allows them to keep their caring role separate from other aspects of their life. This can be particularly important for working carers or those who have other commitments, like children or hobbies. However, there are a number of challenges which are unique to carers who provide care for someone from a distance, for example:
- It can be harder to spot changes in symptoms or warning signs as they may not see the individual regularly in order to identify changes.
- Carers will rely more on others within their support network to spot any changes, to offer support and to maintain communication.
- Visits can tend to be longer and more intense than if you were close by and popping over regularly. This can be tiring for a carer, especially if the individual has held off on specific tasks until the carer visits.
- More costs associated may be involved with caring such as the cost of fuel or public transport as well as indirect costs associated with the caring role like a loss of earnings or wages if the carer needs to take time off.
Carers have also told us that caring from a distance places different pressures on their time too. Travelling to visit the person they care as it may take time away from other commitments. Time is also a particularly important factor in the case of emergency situations. It can feel stressful knowing that if there was an emergency, it may take some time for the carer to get there. It may mean that they rely on family, friends, others in their support network, or services to respond until they arrive.
If caring for someone from a distance, there may be some things which carers have suggested can make it a little easier. Some jobs can be done by other people within their support network, but there are also tools which can make things easier.
Technology plays a big part in the day to day lives of many individuals and many carers have started to use devices and technology for parts of their caring role too. Here are some of the ways carers have used technology:
- Google Home, Alexa or Siri to help the person manage daily tasks such as making calls and setting reminders for medication
- Location sharing apps can be used to help find people who might become confused or disoriented
- Ring Doorbells as a way to monitor who comes in and out of their home using a camera and motion detection
- Fall alarms can help to alert someone if the person you care for has fallen or is injured at home
- Online services like supermarket deliveries, Amazon and prescription services
Ensuring the home of the person you care for is set up well is another important part of caring from a distance. What carers have or would have in place will depend greatly on the individual and their specific needs but some ideas for all types of caring situations include:
- Having a key safe with a spare key so that the individual, or the carer can access the property if needed
- Installing handrails or a stair bannister to help reduce the risk of falls
- Buying a waterproof mattress cover or mattress protector
- Ensure that smoke alarms and a carbon monoxide alarm have been fitted
If the person they care for struggles with everyday tasks, they are entitled to a Social Care Needs Assessment. These assessments are delivered by the local authority to assess a person’s needs at home. It can help them access equipment and relevant services.
Many carers also find it helpful to have things in place in case of an urgent situation or emergency. For example, preparing an emergency action plan which the individual and their support network are aware of can help the individual access support more quickly when needed. The plan may also identify who can make decisions on the individual’s behalf if they are not able to. You can find out more about planning for emergencies here - LINK
When stepping into a caring role for someone, even from a distance, many carers find that the relationship can change. It can therefore be important for some carers to take steps to maintain a relationship with the person outside of the caring role.
Ways to do this might include:
- Setting clear boundaries around the caring role to ensure it is sustainable for you.
- Developing a way to keep clear and open communication with the individual and those around them
- Checking in regularly and consistently
- Taking dedicated time for yourself, where they are not available or on standby
- Setting time aside from the caring role to spend time with the individual
These can help to ensure that the caring role is healthy and sustainable for you and the person you support long term.
For more tailored information and resources, you can find articles on caring for someone in specific caring situations here.
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