Supporting someone with an addiction or a dependency can be at times a challenging experience, and many aspects of your life can be affected. Here we explore some of the possible physical, emotional, social, legal, and financial impacts of supporting someone with an addiction, and offer practical strategies to help you feel more supported if you are facing any of these challenges yourself.
If you are living with someone with a dependency, it can sometimes feel very difficult to share a home or a space with them. Unpredictable changes in someone’s behaviour can cause friction and stress, and the mood in the house may feel tense. There may be some times when you simply don’t want to go home or feel afraid as to what you might find when you walk through the door.
This type of stress can take a substantial toll on your physical health, perhaps affecting your sleep, causing headaches, and affecting your immune system. Setting clear boundaries and making sure others are aware of your own needs so you have space to relax and recharge is important.
Making time to do the activities you enjoy, eating well and spending some time outside each day can all boost your physical wellbeing. Speaking to your GP can also help you manage any stress-related health issues and receive guidance on how to maintain your physical wellbeing.
Sometimes people with an addiction can become aggressive. They may not respect your home, items might get broken, and at times other people around them may feel afraid for their own physical safety. If this is ever the case for you, and you feel at risk of violence (from a child, partner, parent or other person who may live with you) there are organisations available to support you, and the emergency services on 999 are also there to help you in a crisis.
It can be very worrying and stressful to care for someone who has an addiction, and the emotional toll on friends and family can be huge. You might feel a huge range of emotions, and it is very natural to experience feelings like frustration, sadness, anger, fear and helplessness. Having to cope with high levels of stress can affect people’s mental, emotional and physical health, affecting how they feel and their performance at work or school.
You can protect your own emotional health to a certain degree by reminding yourself that you are not responsible for the choices the person you care for might be making, and that help is available for them whenever they are ready to receive it. Putting this emotional boundary in place can help you support the person you care for without enabling them, or getting too caught up in the chaos an addiction can cause.
Bottling up difficult feelings and emotions can cause problems over time, and so being able to process what is going on for you is important. Activities like mindfulness and breathing techniques can help soothe your nervous system, and feeling connected to a strong support network can also help you feel more resilient. If you feel affected by the emotional impact of supporting someone with a dependency or addiction, speaking to someone confidentially who can help, like your GP, a teacher, counsellor or an online organisation set up to support those affected by addiction, is a good place to start.
If you are supporting someone with a dependency or an addiction, it can sometimes feel as if there is no room for anything else in your life. You may feel as if your thoughts are constantly about them and what might be happening with them, and if you live in the same place, the entire space might sometimes feel as if it is dominated by their presence.
Those who support someone with an addiction say that they sometimes feel ashamed or embarrassed about the situation they are in. They might find themselves keeping secrets from friends and family, and feel afraid of sharing what’s going on with others because of the shame and stigma still sometimes associated with addiction. You might not want to invite others to visit you, feel uncomfortable about going out to meet other people because of the secret you are carrying, or simply feel that you don’t have the time to spend on social activities outside the home.
It might not feel easy at first, but making an effort to stay connected with family and socialise with friends can provide you with valuable emotional support and a sense of normal life, even when things feel difficult at home. Our articles on shame, guilt and stigma and creating a strong social network can support you further in these important areas.
An addiction can be expensive, and this can lead to financial instability, debt and huge stress not only for those with the addiction, but for those who care for them too. If you have experienced debt because of someone else’s dependency, the first step to getting things back on track is to seek specialist advice. Your local Citizens Advice Bureau can provide guidance and practical support, and there are other useful organisations like Turn2Us that are there to help.
If you share joint accounts with someone with a dependency and now feel this isn’t in your best interest, you might want to consider setting up your own personal account. It could also be a good idea to look at creating a budgeting plan and getting advice about how to protect your finances in general, from putting spending limits and restrictions on your accounts to making sure your personal information is only accessible to you. Speaking to your own bank and organisations like Turn2Us and Money Helper can also offer practical help with these and other financial issues you might be dealing with if you are supporting someone with an addiction.
If the person you care for has an addiction or dependency on a substance or an activity that is illegal, it’s very important that you are aware of the law and how it might relate to you too. When it comes to drugs for example, it is against the law for anyone to have illegal drugs in their ‘possession’; this includes on your person, in your car or in your home, even if those drugs do not specifically belong to you or you say you don’t know about them.
It is also against the law for anyone to be ‘in control’ of any drugs or places where criminal activity happens, like having access to where drugs are taken, made or stored. This could be somewhere you live, have access to or pay the rent for. Family members, friends or carers can also be breaking the law if they buy illegal drugs for someone else, alter prescriptions, or manage the dose and frequency of someone else’s illegal drug taking, even if they believe they are doing it to help the person they care for.
Because dependency and addiction can affect every aspect of life, there may be times when you want professional advice to understand your legal rights and responsibilities in certain areas. Contacting your local Citizens Advice Bureau can be a good starting point, and speaking with a solicitor can help if you have to navigate issues like child residence arrangements, property disputes, or criminal charges. If the person you are supporting is unable to manage their affairs, you might also consider establishing a Power of Attorney to legally manage their financial and medical decisions.