Teresa cares for her older sister Julie, 61, since their mother sadly passed away 20 years ago. Julie was initially placed in assisted living, but after multiple safeguarding concerns Teresa removed Julie to become her full-time carer.
Julie lives with learning difficulties, including mental and physical challenges. She also lives with scoliosis, spondylitis, and Psoriasis, which cause Julie discomfort. Additionally, Julie is registered blind.
Teresa baths Julie every day, helping to wash her hair and apply ointments to sooth her skin irritation. She also requires support with many day-to-day tasks: “which can be exhausting on top of daily chores”, Teresa said.
Julie attends multiple clubs throughout the week, which gives Julie an opportunity to socialise while Teresa receives some well-deserved respite.
“Having three hours of my space while Julie is at her clubs can make all the difference."
Teresa lives with ADHD, CPTSD, depression and anxiety, but she has learnt healthy methods to improve her mental and physical health while caring for Julie.
She used to work 18 hours a day at her own company, but this was put on hold when caring for Julie became full-time. Caring full-time has become a constant financial burden for Teresa and has meant that her social life has dwindled over time. “Those 18 hours a day became Julie’s”, Teresa said.
“It’s affected me in every area,” she said, “financially, socially, everything.” She added that she feels emotionally exhausted from fighting for Julie to receive the right care and support and basic rights, “I am the first defense for Julie, I feel like I’m on the attack all the time.”
“I’ve always said that the financial side and the material things have never been at the forefront for me, it’s the mental side. Sometimes you’re just doing what you think is best, that can be really difficult, and sometimes you feel as though you’re not seen. It’s easy to lose yourself.”
She added that being a part of the caring community means a lot to her, “Carers that are in the community I think are my best source of support, that’s the best source of support and advice for me. It’s through those people that I got to learn about Carers First.
“As soon as I made that first phone call four years ago, everyone I’ve spoken to has been so kind, they’ve always had time for me.
“I can't tell you how much Carers First has lifted me up. If only more organisations were like Carers First. I recommend you all the time, I can't recommend you enough!”
Teresa now does ten minutes of yoga every morning, and Julie gives her the time and space to do this, knowing that it is for the benefit of everyone’s wellbeing. Taking this time for herself provides peace of mind.
Teresa was also introduced to wild swimming, which she says has immensely helped her mental health and wellbeing.
“I am forever grateful for the introduction to wild swimming by my friend Ady. Once I’m in the water, I don’t think about anything else. It’s slightly euphoric, calm and peace.”
Carers First were able to help Teresa with a grant to get her a wet suit for wild swimming, which has supported her in taking time for herself.
Teresa added: “The best thing about being a carer is getting to meet all the other people in the community and service users, and getting to know their needs and wants, the friendliness of it.
“Everyone makes you feel welcome and happy, you can be yourself in the community. They are all lovely gentle souls, and just one person relating to you can make all the difference. Even if you just talk to one person who can relate.
“But most importantly, knowing that Julie is safe with me and her family, happy and thriving, that’s the best feeling.”
Online Help and Advice
Visit our online support section where we have provided advice and guidance on a range of relevant topics to help you in your caring role.